Heartfelt Sympathy for Myself

Today I was scolded by my supervisor over the phone. His point, if it could be summarized, might be that I was a flippant. I should have devoted my all to research and the final paper but I’m making money by teaching instead. Yet I didn’t detail the reasons for “not being concentrating” because I always know what I’m doing.

Life’s never been easy since the day I knew it all. Paradoxes and dilemmas are so omnipresent as to make us suffer on the horns of a dilemma at times.

It’s true I need to feed a family. It’s true I need to get a Master’s degree. It’s true I have to do all I can to concentrate on the study. But it’s also true I have to face my life, the messy life with few sparkles.

I am not complaining. I am just confused.

Slouching on the road and thinking of dropping him a line, I laughed at myself for being this naive and stupid. My life doesn’t need explaining for those who want to know must know and those who don’t will never know.

He wouldn’t “promise anything”, as he promised, if I focused too much on making money. I laughed again. Nobody ever has been asked to promise anything to me. Even most of the time I hate (people who try) to get benefits through the back door, as much as I hate any cabal. He didn’t know me in this sense, but I’m sure he must have seen many damn cases before.

I’m sorry but I can’t satisfy everyone in my life.

10 Years Later” – Fiona Sit feat. Edmond Tong

An 89-Year-Old Mother Taking Care of Her 72-Year-Old Daughter

I’m gonna tell you a true story I read on the net. I’m sorry to hear such news but I’m always ready to help those in waters. To those remote sufferers, I can do nothing but extend my heartfelt sympathy and wish others to help them out if possible. Giving a helping hand makes a most beautiful mind.

During the past 16 years, an 89-year-old woman surnamed LI has been a street vendor selling small articles like needles, keyrings and nail clippers in Wuchang City, who incredibly has to take care of her 72-year-old paralyzed daughter.

Born in Huanggang City in 1920, LI has two daughters, the other of whom is still living in Huanggang, alone and poor. LI’s husband passed away in 1974, leaving his whole family as well as his parents to strive for a living.

16 years ago, LI came to Wuchang along with her elder daughter and parents-in-law, making a living as such a vendor. Years later, her parents-in-law died and LI had to live with the only daughter. 10 years ago, they spent all they had on a 20㎡ second-hand room. 5 years ago, LI’s health problems began and she has earned less and less ever since. Her daughter, however, needs more money to treat paralysis and more attention from her.

The room they live in is poorly furnitured. The bed is an alignment of wooden stools and the electric fan, as LI told the reporter, was given by a kind-hearted neighbor. In hot summer days, they have got to feed themselves with plain porridge and watermelon peels. Once a month, she squeezes on a bus to replenish what to sell and it usually takes her 2 hours a day to sell them.

What worries LI most is that she may die before her daughter and leave her unattended.

Yesterday evening, after taking in some watermelon peels with her daughter, LI went out to sell those articles punctually at 18:00, but didn’t sell a single thing after an hour.

Instead of cracking down street vendors, Chengguan officials say they usually give some money to LI’s family and are indeed thinking of getting them a subsistence allowance against all odds.

Dear friends, if you happen to see LI’s family and the likes, remember to help them so long as you can do just a little thing. Even if you don’t have a single pence, it’s also good to have a word with them to ease their loneliness, sorrow, and pain.

(The pictures were taken by TANG Wenming rather than me.)

Another Day in Paradise” – Phil Collins

Nightlife to an End

July 15 – Aug. 20, let’s call it a day.

For sure I can feel a sense of relief but by no means can I say it’s unpleasant to work with students.

Everything’s over, including my nightlife.

This so-called nightlife actually involves only eating out at 22:00 or so, and sometimes, making phone calls and working via WLAN.

I never thought it would be so good to be alone at night, with no one disturbing me. These days was what I gotta cherish in my life. It’s tranquility that suits me so fine.

Kingyo no Watashi” – Shono Juli

About Mavis

I guess it’s time I wrote something about Mavis since her new release has come out. Such an infatuation for Mavis started in 1996 when her second LP was released and since then I been quite crazy over her, and everything of hers. What differs from what others may hold is the fact that I really love every track of every period in her recording career. She’s a recording artist, I mean, not the same thing as the Cranberries was doing and meant to be. Of all the female recording artists, Mavis must be the most talented one. Various vocal genres are by no means any difficulties to her and that’s why you have heard “健康歌”“刷牙歌”“The Shower Song” as well as “消失”“眼淚”“自言自語””Bartender Angel” that were recorded by the same girl. To be a recording artists had nothing to do with what she thought should have been done over that period but she turned out to be as much depressed as her life went into a mess. Meanwhile, her music style was tottering all the way but she’s not ruined for the biggest evidence is the release of her recent EP and album featuring the band 100% formed under her own label Vegetarian Fish, one member of which is her current boyfriend. As a 13-year Mavis fan, I am truly happy to see she’s living a new life, together with her Mom and boyfriend and music.

<赤子/Innocent> is a good album regardless of her little marketing concerns. I have decided to give a 5-star comment on this album b’cuz Mavis is always trying to convey a refreshing notion through making music after she got over the greatest ever depression in her life. “鬼打牆” and “幽默感” are my favorite tracks reminding me of the life track of Mavis that are not always smooth like we wish it to be.

This album is still on the go in my iPod. I love it, as did I love those of her previous works.

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My Sense of Humor” – Mavis Fan & 100%

Goodbye, July!

This is the last minute of July of 2009 when it occurs to me that I should have written something about life and myself but actually I have not. Fortunately I realized that before the very end of July, when I have only posted 5 times due to a shortage of time for blogging.

I have been hustling and bustling ever since mid-July for I have to teach the English language here and there. But I thank God for giving me lots of pleasure like delicious exotic foods and pastimes with friends all around. And my students might have learnt what they need and want, as I’m always aware of. Life is rewarding. Suffering is not always painful, and it could be beautiful as well.

Recently I’ve been into Hunan foods and Sichuan foods, though for most of the time I eat out in an Italian or French restaurant (or whatever, as long as it serves western foods). These kinds of food will result in some skin problems and I’m trying to avoid them by applying aloe gel and tea tree oil religiously.

And on August 16, I will perform at Grand Theatre of China in Tianjin, and probably,  it is this song that must be on the list.

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Go Ahead!” – Jason Arikid


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