Archive for April, 2009
Every day we gotta solve problems, say, a dead vehicle, a thorny assignment, and a sudden stomachahe. I’m unfortunately given all the above problems to which I’m struggling to find solutions. Days are full of trouble if we look into what we are really doing. The truth of life turns out to be frustrating in that life is repititious when breakthroughs are occasional and when enjoyment gives way to depression and anxiety.
Eventually came the depression, as I had predicted for myself. I struggled to be up this morning, only to find I was totally lost in where I was. Money, fame, academy, employment… none could tell which I’m supposed to be after. I fail to fall asleep night after night that I even beg alcohol to help knowing it’s retarded of me to have invited these headaches myself.
Wishin‘ we could do somethin‘ else special other than fuck the financial crisis that is leadin‘ us to an impasse of future, yet we gotta realize our previous and precious dreams.
$50,000 is nothin‘ but a number anyways.
But how come I should be so cruel to myself???
Fatigue is the word if u must depict me.
I’m always satisfyin‘ without thinkin‘ if I’m equal to takin‘ that part. Men are born to be tolerant and to endure the pain. That’s me. And that’s all me.
Dear boys’n'gals, I’m still militatin‘ against the future depression. It’ll still be some time before everythin‘ goes in my favor.
If not buried alive, I’ll try to survive by all means. It never comes that I breathe the last breath of air when bein‘ laughed at by the muthafuckings.