學會殘忍
生命第一課是流淚 我學會呼吸和感覺
從愛開始我學會喜悅 卻因為在乎學會膽怯
你對我說再見那天 我學會 愛的不完美
我在你缺席了的黑夜 學會怕黑我正在了解 這世界 讓每天成為新的起點
我會 走向前 不讓自己再回到昨天
愛過你才學會離別 犯過錯才學會後悔
哭過後才學會諒解 我會學會 我的世界失去你擁抱的甜美 我學會珍惜的可貴
當今天已經告別 我寫下日記 學會不輕易浪費
愛過你的那個我 已經學會去 翻越傷悲
忘記很辛苦但我知道這樣才對我正在了解 這世界 讓每天成為新的起點
我會 走向前 不讓自己再回到昨天
被愛過才學會感謝 離開你才學會乾脆 逆著風我學會起飛在我的世界 在我的世界 在我的世界 我學會
在有些時間、對於有些人，不得，我幸；得之，我命矣。
沒什麼，學會對自己寬容、學會對別人殘忍。
受傷的刺猬也可打敗老鼠。病危的獅子也可以讓兔子聞風喪膽。
一個無堅不摧的自己，才能經營一段無堅不摧的感情和一生無堅不摧的生活。
在這一秒鐘，我學會。
“學會” – 孫燕姿
路
其實，路，一直都在
只是我太習慣回頭看
對一具早已冰冷的屍體
仍保留一份莫名奇妙的——責任感
如果我是一只鹿
這會是上帝賜給我的美麗的角
人人都來欣賞我
是因為我的角
我絆倒在森林里被猛獸吃掉
也是因為我的角
和Christie談了一個下午
談未來的路
或者講，出路
我們談論出路
並不是因為碰到了死路
而是路太多
必須選擇一條
義無反顧的走下去
我感謝認識Christie
他是我生命中最珍貴的禮物
晴天、陰天、下雨天
有這樣一個和我相似的同類
他是我的天外天
20世紀80年代 – 1986年
20世紀90年代 – 1998年
千禧年代 – 2004年
以上三年是我永生銘記的年份
它們不會再回來
21世紀10年代也必有一年
化作我人生之路的里程碑
但絕不會是2010年
P.S. 鄰居“五哥”因骨癌卒於52歲。從發病到去世僅僅兩個月，還不夠談一場轟轟烈烈的戀愛。這讓我想到易家揚的那句：愛在生老病死後，已經都沒關係。
再次P.S. from 鄭秀文：如果你的生命在某個階段活得彷如死了，結果有兩種。第一：繼續活得不死不生；第二：重生。結果，我選擇了重生，活出美好。我發現：當你選擇活出美好，黑暗將會使不出力勁。
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“Melancholy Summer (悲情之夏鋼琴版)” – Jason Arikid
幸福，在別處
我不知大嶸攝這張相是不是有天意
我在自己的座駕上眼看著別人的幸福
這也沒什麼，因為我也很幸福
幸福不是只伴一個人天長地久
幸福不是只做一份工作做到老
幸福不是只睡一張軟床賴到死
幸福不是只喝一種茶水或咖啡
擁有本是一種負累
放手原是一種自在
隨遇而安，隨性而活
不再為誰，不再爲什麽
“幸福的預感” – 梁靜茹
美容怪物
“Monster” – Lady Gaga
Uneasy
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Many Thanks
LOL…really didn’t think it so soon that I would appear on BearMangazine April 2010 Issue. A guy named 牛牛 asked me on Douban if his magazine could use my music for the upcoming release. I surely replied yes and waited until days later I was told that I have visually and audibly appeared on that e-magazine. SO COOL.
I’ve learnt that this magazine is very popular within the bear community and keeps a number of regular readers. Then I’m going to keep an eye on BearMangazine in hopes that it will be more prominent.
Many thanks to all of you for your undying support.
“The Fame” – Lady Gaga
二十四
好像, 寫博客都會如此功利. 這一篇又等到了我24歲生日的這一天才發. 希望這不會成為你們彈劾我的證據.
一轉眼, 我已經在2X的年齡段上走來這麼多年, 其實我有時仍然會恍惚地認為我活在1X的年齡段. 我系AriKID嘛. (傻笑)
今年的生日在忙碌中度過. 忙寫學術論文, 忙自己的前程, 忙自己的音樂專輯. 其實忙是個被用到爛的藉口, 來遮蓋一切過失, 比如沒有更新博客這件事情. 但是的確, 忙是我的狀態, 不僅這段時間, 也會是以後長時間的狀態.
3月22日(公歷)是我的生日. 這一天也是世界水日, 在這裡我亦要為南方缺水的人民和土地祈福. 同時, 這一天也是一年中第一個白天長於黑夜的日子, 希望世界上處處光明, 歧視, 戰爭等不公平的現象越來越少.
謝謝大家在不同場合, 用不同手段為我慶祝生日. 亦祝願你們天天快樂.
P.S. 下面這首”二十二 (2008 ABC Live Version)”是翻唱David Tao的現場版, 真的系在我22歲生日上演唱的 (ABC: Arikid’s Birthday Concert). 今年恐怕是沒時間舉辦Concert了, 還是欣賞老歌吧, 亦是對年輕歲月的追憶.
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“二十二 (2008 ABC Live Version)” – Jason Arikid
Unable to Write a Line
It’s nearly a month since I blogged in Chinese. Nothing has been posted, with neither Chinese nor English content shown, as I should feel “speechless” when given a platform where I can speak at will! Woo… It’s bad enough.
The Chinese New Year was over when I braked my work at the end of February and I didn’t talk in here basically because of such preoccupation. As a matter of fact, it’s much easier for me to write something in English, fearless of what is posted and who’s to be the next reader. But in Chinese it’s a rough job. I have to choose right words considering who’ll get cross at my wording, say my BOSS, best-behavior friends and celebrities. Also there’s possibility that they are able to read English smoothly but, to my great joy, they are reluctant to. 
The picture was taken on the first day of the Chinese New Year, a day off once in a blue moon, a day when I turned into my tiger year.
It’s widely believed that it’s a common job in one’s year – to suffer, to worry, to ponder and to grow. Here are my recent self-invention:
1. You decide on one while you give up on many.
2. Never think of who never thinks of you.
3. Sometimes chances flood to the passive, not the active.
4. It’s not bad to crush yourself once in that it makes you unique.
Fellas have returned from the holiday, marking the beginning of a busy year. I’m also left with plenty of work to do. But before I go bad, who cares?
“Speechless” – Lady Gaga
Decayed Memory
There are amazing things one has seen only once in his life.
There are special occasions one has gone through only once in his life.
There are fine people one has been with only once in his life.
Once, only once.
As time goes by,
does he have the heart to think about those he may not see once again,
or will he?
Being oblivious is part of nature but it is miserable that he would like to accelerate it and pretends to be reluctant to.
Why do I have to dwell in the past as our paths can never have a chance to intersect?
I am waiting,
not for somebody new,
but for a right therapy to cure the trauma.
But I believe that
the city remains OK while memory is decayed.
(回憶的腐朽先於這座城市.)
“Photographic Memory” – Surrogate
Best Wishes through the Snow
From snowing Estonia to snowing Tianjin, the postcard from my best friend Ray must have traveled so much that I felt a bit of jealousy. Honestly I didn’t realize that I should cherish postcards from friends but luckily I have kept them all. This year, however, I do. I’m leaving college for the real human society soon, and gonna make new friends wherever I might be. A Chinese saying, new stuff is always better than something old. As for friends, I think it’s another case. Ray is one of my best friends, and he’s sent me a postcard every year since he stepped out of the land. I don’t know if I will receive his card next year. I mean, he’ll find me nowhere and vice versa. Or the possibility might be that both of us will be busy as hell and will never care about sending or receiving a simple paper card compared to the more puzzling life we will be going through.
The card goes “Dear Jason, you are always my best friend! Best wishes from snowing Estonia.”
Yes, Ray, I’m thanking you for being my best friend, and I’m proud of you.
If only someday the world would be proud of the two of us.
“Snow” – Maximilian Hecker