Unable to Write a Line
It’s nearly a month since I blogged in Chinese. Nothing has been posted, with neither Chinese nor English content shown, as I should feel “speechless” when given a platform where I can speak at will! Woo… It’s bad enough.
The Chinese New Year was over when I braked my work at the end of February and I didn’t talk in here basically because of such preoccupation. As a matter of fact, it’s much easier for me to write something in English, fearless of what is posted and who’s to be the next reader. But in Chinese it’s a rough job. I have to choose right words considering who’ll get cross at my wording, say my BOSS, best-behavior friends and celebrities. Also there’s possibility that they are able to read English smoothly but, to my great joy, they are reluctant to. 
The picture was taken on the first day of the Chinese New Year, a day off once in a blue moon, a day when I turned into my tiger year.
It’s widely believed that it’s a common job in one’s year – to suffer, to worry, to ponder and to grow. Here are my recent self-invention:
1. You decide on one while you give up on many.
2. Never think of who never thinks of you.
3. Sometimes chances flood to the passive, not the active.
4. It’s not bad to crush yourself once in that it makes you unique.
Fellas have returned from the holiday, marking the beginning of a busy year. I’m also left with plenty of work to do. But before I go bad, who cares?
“Speechless” – Lady GaGa
我想就一直這樣小眾下去
正在做下一張新專輯 (注意不是單曲), 已經不是第一天的工程, 感到莫名的恐懼.
我怕因為我的心情, 因為我忙碌的創業計劃, 這張專輯可能要讓你們等很久, 也許會等到”JA重量級粉絲團”一點點瓦解也未必能做出這張唱片. 但是請相信我, 我一直沒有停止地在製作這張唱片.
我很欣慰得知在我幾乎零宣傳的情況下, 感性的你們把<我煩>這張單曲傳給你們的朋友們聽, 或者寫進你們的博客, 滴落你們的眼淚, 或者揣測波比的心魔到底是什麼, 或者讀懂了整個故事而不可抑制地心碎. 也有越來愈多的新朋友漸漸識得Jason Arikid, 識得這個寫歌比唱歌好的張懸+陳綺貞粗壯男版混合體. 謝謝你們.
突然間也收到一些青年的表白, 有男有女, 令我受寵若驚. (我想是因為”鏡子裡我二十三, 二十三還單身漢”這句歌詞洩露了隱私. 好吧, 我目前是單身, 在這個問題上我是誠實者, 不是Andy Lau)
突然間也收到一些音樂同行或者公司的橄欖枝, 有真有假, 令我心神不寧. (我從來都是拒絕一切簽約或比賽活動, 因為我認為藝術還是不要同經濟扯上關係比較好)
但是無論怎樣, 我希望繼續小眾下去. 小眾到只有幾個人能聽懂我在寫什麼歌, 小眾到當我不想寫歌時, MSN上冒出一兩句溫暖的問候.
謝謝你們編織了我的夢想, 希望大家一起靜候下一張專輯的誕生.
P.S. 因為太多朋友的要求, 我已開通中文日誌版塊, 在JABLOG上你們會看到右上方有[ 中文 ]字樣, 點擊就會看到中文日誌. 但是中文日誌同英文日誌是彼此獨立的版塊, 內容上不會有任何關聯 (i.e. 每篇日誌只寫一種語言, 不會有雙語版本的日誌). 我會爭取多寫中文的日誌給大家看. 因為後台比較多的評論包含垃圾信息因此大家的評論我會快速瀏覽但不會及時給予公開顯示, 請多包涵!
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“我煩, Sorry, 不聊天” – Jason Arikid
Decayed Memory
There are amazing things one has seen only once in his life.
There are special occasions one has gone through only once in his life.
There are fine people one has been with only once in his life.
Once, only once.
As time goes by,
does he have the heart to think about those he may not see once again,
or will he?
Being oblivious is part of nature but it is miserable that he would like to accelerate it and pretends to be reluctant to.
Why do I have to dwell in the past as our paths can never have a chance to intersect?
I am waiting,
not for somebody new,
but for a right therapy to cure the trauma.
But I believe that
the city remains OK while memory is decayed.
(回憶的腐朽先於這座城市.)
“Photographic Memory” – Surrogate
Best Wishes through the Snow
From snowing Estonia to snowing Tianjin, the postcard from my best friend Ray must have traveled so much that I felt a bit of jealousy. Honestly I didn’t realize that I should cherish postcards from friends but luckily I have kept them all. This year, however, I do. I’m leaving college for the real human society soon, and gonna make new friends wherever I might be. A Chinese saying, new stuff is always better than something old. As for friends, I think it’s another case. Ray is one of my best friends, and he’s sent me a postcard every year since he stepped out of the land. I don’t know if I will receive his card next year. I mean, he’ll find me nowhere and vice versa. Or the possibility might be that both of us will be busy as hell and will never care about sending or receiving a simple paper card compared to the more puzzling life we will be going through.
The card goes “Dear Jason, you are always my best friend! Best wishes from snowing Estonia.”
Yes, Ray, I’m thanking you for being my best friend, and I’m proud of you.
If only someday the world would be proud of the two of us.
“Snow” – Maximilian Hecker
On the Cusp of a New Decade
A feeling of sloth has made this blog appear deserted, which I never hope to see but have to account for. This time, however, I don’t want to slip by the end of the year without telling you anything like I was not aware at all.
Recently I’ve been tangled in different things that seem so important that they might dramatically alter my life. I can’t tell them verbally because making decisions is always a struggle when one is standing at a crossroad in need of directions.
I don’t have complaints or attachment for 2009 since it’s a common year, but it’s harsh as well. Celebrities of a great number have cashed in their chips leaving behind endless reminiscence about them. Meanwhile, abnormal phenomena of various kinds have been raging that we can’t explain nor can we defend against.
Unpleasant things are to continue in 2010 I don’t doubt and yet I still wish it would be a peaceful year, full of bliss and sweet moments.
“LAST DAY” – Rurutia
47 Days Later – As Christmas Draws Near
Eventually I can blog now, after a seemingly successful reform of my official website as you might have seen typing in www.Arikid.com followed by pressing the Enter key. I still can’t figure out why loading the Flash version lags behind the previous text site but I’m thinking of another change to turn this site into a text/image embedded other than Flash-based one. Anyways, stay tuned and you will see what’s gonna happen.
Christmas is coming soon; I however, know quite well this is not a day for me, not in a religious sense but in that I stay very busy around Christmas doing all kinds of things like analyzing data during research, writing a dissertation, planning the future career and recording my new single and the expected first album. I’d love to say I’m enjoying what I’m doing and that’s much different from what I felt in the past when given the same things to do.
Things to do for Christmas? Almost none I think unless a simple booze-up or a big cake but it’s not necessarily the way I celebrate a big day.
No blogging for 47 days, I even thought I would have lost the ability to speak. Days remain the same whether or not I blog, take pictures or record songs. “The world has passed me by,” goes 1900. Shocked when I first heard this line, for I always feel the same.
And please don’t forget: Jason Arikid’s new single, featuring a Low-Key-Pop style, is coming out on January 10th, 2010.
“Winter Wonderland” – Lisa Ono
The 5003 Project of Love
The last time I listened to Music Radio was the first year in college, and have never listened since then. Because back in high school, the prices of a digital music player were incredibly high, an economic way to enjoy music was listening to Music Radio. After I got my own music player, I listened on my own.
Lately I have been tied to another cell phone, NOKIA 5530, with radio function. It’s smaller than my iPod classic 160G, and can notify me if there’s an incoming call or message while I’m enjoying music. I turned on the radio function last night and Music Radio seems to be carrying out a charity campaign titled “The 5003 Project of Love”, which aims to help 500 children afford their 3 years’ educational expenses. This reminds me of Project Hope and the big eyes as its promotional icon.
“I want to go to school.” Can you hear that at the entrance to a rave? Can you think of that when sitting at Starbucks?
Help them at once! Text the numerals 5003 to 10699958 and you’ll have RMB ￥10.00 donated!
“The Playground in the Morning” – BiBi Zhou, Cyndi Wang & Qingniaofeiyu
Sunrise
↑ Sunrise – BobbySummer
“Mornings” – Club 8
Part I
Once I was asked, “Who might probably see a sunrise?”
I thought it was above thinking twice and said, “Surely everyone, only if they are living.”
But it turned out to be a butt for I was quite simple-minded. I hadn’t realized that till someone cued me, “When was the last time you saw a sunrise?”
How I wished I’d been able to answer him, and yet somehow I couldn’t.
Being dumb was not that easy, not like when I was asked something on syntax or phonetics.
I couldn’t remember when it was the last time I saw a sunrise because I’m always up well after the sun is up. I simply take it for granted that the sun rises every day no matter if I witness it by the window.
The answer emerged that one has to stay up till dawn to see a sunrise.
But why does he have to?
Because he’s all alone.
Part II
Really doubt if it is dawn
Chromatic wash on the lawn
A verdant place turns fawn
Fine enough to stifle a yawn
Man in bed looks so drawn
Beside another he is a pawn
Intimacy would not be sawn
Without cruelty or a bit of brawn
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Soul Steps Out of Desire
When soul steps out of desire,
the body is empty.
Desire is going wild,
losing its grip,
and eating itself at last.
“Stay indoors!” was what I heard.
I did the same as told.
Who would know what I was thinking if I didn’t tell?
Yes! It’s the power of desire
that corrodes my body.
Plus it turns the colorful world into a monochromatic cave.
However, whatever
I’m told not to do
will be the evidence that explains
why I am anything but ordinary.
After College
October 17, 2009 – 90th B’day of my alma mater
I should have been happy that day.
However, I found myself indifferent to it.
Like you love someone and will probably gain nothing.
You love your alma mater and will probably lose something.
It’s horrible to show blind love.
I won’t, not ever.
I’m still thinking what I gotta do after college.
At this moment, my alma mater won’t help.
And nor will these temporary friends.
All is up to myself.
It’s good to make decisions of my own, all alone, though.